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June 17, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Sunday night, the San Antonio Spurs beat the Miami Heat 104-87 to take home the NBA championship. The Spurs beat the Heat in not seven, not six, but five games. 2. Sunday night, the San Antonio...
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August 18, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, dentists cannot agree as to the most effective way to brush one’s teeth. Four out of five dentists believe a constant, counter-clockwise motion is the best, while the fifth...
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October 17, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday was National Boss’s Day. So, if this is the first you’re hearing of it, today is probably National Look for a New Job day for you. 2. New York Knick Amare Stoudemire said he regularly...
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May 29, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Felix Kiprono, a lawyer living in Nairobi, Kenya has offered Barack Obama 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats in exchange for the President’s 16-year-old daughter, Malia’s hand in marriage. That’s...
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January 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. The number of tourists visiting New York City rose to a record high in 2015, with nearly 60 million people making the trip. To give you an idea of how many people that is, if those 60 million...
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March 14, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Scientists in Vietnam have confirmed a case of bi-paternal twins, twins who have different fathers. Or, as it’s referred to on “the Maury Povich Show,” the holy grail. 2. Researchers at the...
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March 15, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. More people on Thursday tuned in to the popular CBS comedy “The Big Bang Theory” than watched the Republican debate that was airing at the same time. Proving that people like “The Big Bang Theory”...
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June 16, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, while speaking on behalf of Hillary Clinton, President Obama said his daughters think it’s weird that America hasn’t had a woman president yet. Although, I’m pretty sure they would...
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June 17, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Freddie Gibson, a five-year-old boy in England saved up his birthday money to take his best friend, a five-year-old girl named Dee Dee, out on a first date. Although, I don’t think there’s gonna be...
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August 31, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, women are as obsessed with breasts as men. Which means 100% of the population have no idea what color Kate Upton’s eyes are. 2. The movie “Southside With You,” which tells...
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January 6, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, it was reported that the backyard swing set bought for the President Obama’s daughters in 2009 has been removed from the White House lawn and donated to charity. But, don’t worry, Joe...
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January 20, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Today, the Obama family will officially leave the White House and move into their new 8-bedroom, 8-bathroom home in a Washington D.C. Or, as Donald Trump refers to it, their new 16-bathroom home. 2....
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February 10, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Wednesday night, news anchor Scott Pelley started “The CBS Evening News” by saying President Trump “is divorced from reality.” So add ‘reality’ to the long list of things Melania is jealous of. 2....
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